we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
