She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
