He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
