just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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