I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
