your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
