I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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