I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
