i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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