On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
