I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
