I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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