Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I will be naked everywhere
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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