Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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