i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Who did Billy Mays play for?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
