I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
