Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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