JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
