She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
