you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
