yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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