We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
