i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
