Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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