just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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