And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
