Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize