We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I'm really busy with my period
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