I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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