he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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