you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
