Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
