small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
