so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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