so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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