Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
