i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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