There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
