We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
