i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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