yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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