I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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