Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
