How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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