I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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