Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
