after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So squirting runs in the family.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
