I want to make a zoo with you.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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