soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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