what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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