She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
