After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Mom said you looked used
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
