I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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