dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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