My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
