Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
