Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
