She's JV to your varsity
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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