I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
