p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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