ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
