It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
